Lori Gottlieb and Dr. Rick Hanson

Recorded May 17th, 2020

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Lori Gottlieb and Dr. Rick Hanson
Sunday, May 17, 2020

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Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist and author of the New York Times bestseller Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, which is being adapted as a television series by Eva Longoria and the creators of Emmy and Golden Globe-winning series “The Americans.” In addition to her clinical practice, she writes The Atlantic’s weekly “Dear Therapist” advice column and contributes regularly to The New York Times and many other publications. Her recent TED Talk is one of the top 10 most watched of the year, and she is a sought-after expert in media such as The Today Show, Good Morning America, The CBS Early Show, CNN, and NPR’s “Fresh Air.” Her new iHeart Radio podcast, “Dear Therapists,” produced by Katie Couric, will premiere this year. Learn more at LoriGottlieb.com.
Rick Hanson, PhD is a psychologist, Senior Fellow of UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, and New York Times best-selling author. His books have been published in 29 languages and include Neurodharma, Resilient, Hardwiring Happiness, Buddha’s Brain, Just One Thing, and Mother Nurture – with 900,000 copies in English alone. His free weekly newsletter has 150,000 subscribers and his online programs have scholarships available for those with financial need. He’s lectured at NASA, Google, Oxford, and Harvard, and taught in meditation centers worldwide. An expert on positive neuroplasticity, his work has been featured on the BBC, CBS, NPR, and other major media. He began meditating in 1974 and is the founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom. He loves wilderness and taking a break from emails.

People often mistake numbness for nothingness, but numbness isn’t the absence of feelings; it’s a response to being overwhelmed by too many feelings.”

– Lori Gottlieb

Our brain has three primary motivational systems – Avoiding harms, Approaching rewards, and Attaching to “us” – that draw on many neural networks to accomplish their goals.

Lately, I’ve started to realize that a fourth fundamental human motivational system could be emerging as well.

– Dr. Rick Hanson

Lori Gottlieb is an American writer and psychotherapist, who writes the weekly “Dear Therapist” advice column for The Atlantic. She has written for many publications, including The New York Times, Time, Slate, People, Elle, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, and O, The Oprah Magazine. She frequently appears as an expert on mental health topics on television and radio such as The Today Show, Good Morning America, The CBS Early Show, CNN, the BBC, and NPR.
Rick Hanson, PhD is a psychologist, Senior Fellow of UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, and New York Times best-selling author. His books have been published in 29 languages and include Neurodharma, Resilient, Hardwiring Happiness, Buddha’s Brain, Just One Thing, and Mother Nurture – with 900,000 copies in English alone. His free weekly newsletter has 150,000 subscribers and his online programs have scholarships available for those with financial need. He’s lectured at NASA, Google, Oxford, and Harvard, and taught in meditation centers worldwide. An expert on positive neuroplasticity, his work has been featured on the BBC, CBS, NPR, and other major media. He began meditating in 1974 and is the founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom. He loves wilderness and taking a break from emails.

Visit the Book Passage website to have any of Lori’s books or any of Rick’s books delivered right to your door.

You’re sure to enjoy these Book Passage favorites:

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

Maybe you should talk

Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough

Marry Him

Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence

Hardwiring Happiness

Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness

Resilient- How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness

Get ready to Lori and Rick in conversation, Sunday, May 17th.

In the meantime, we invite you to take a moment now to help shape this upcoming conversation:

Check out the list of questions submitted by other registered attendees, and then vote to support any of the ones that match your own interests.
Feel free to add your own question. Then spread the word to make sure others have the chance to help move your question to the top of the shared list.

  • 7

    votes

    What advice would you give to someone who is looking for a real purpose in life. How can one identify it and hone their talents to make it better at any age?

  • 7

    votes

    Thank you both for sharing with us. Hoping you can share a personal piece of advice- if you had to go back 15 or 20 years to your previous self, what is the best piece of advice you couldn’t receive then and have since?

  • 6

    votes

    I loved your book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, and am curious about what you think is the most important thing a good therapist does for their clients? In other words, what is the most critical thing that a therapist gives to another person that helps facilitate healing? Thank you!

  • 6

    votes

    Which comes first, thought or emotion, and how can I better access emotions?

  • 5

    votes

    I’ve been with my spouse for 26 years – separated for the last five years. We are raising two children who live with me full time. We’ve gone to therapy off and on for decades. My spouse has emotionally abandoned me in my darkest hours and even when I’m having an off day. My biggest desire is my need to feel safe – that he will be there for me no matter what. On the other hand, he wants to feel stable – having consistency with being welcomed in my home and consistent emotions. These issues come directly from our families of origin. My parents were present, but emotionally unavailable and at times emotionally explosive. His parents were divorced when he was 8, and his home was never stable. He lived with his dad, who moved every year or so.
    It seems to me that we want to make this work, however our wounds and lack of tools, prevent us from healing. What do you suggest we do to help us heal these wounds?

  • 3

    votes

    A recent article says that the “Lizard Brain” model I’ve heard you use in our “Neurodharma” course is not accutate: published in Current Directions in Psychological Science, and co-authored by Joseph Cesario and Heather L. Eisthen of Michigan State University and David J. Johnson of the University of Maryland. Have you had a chance to review? What are your thoughts? If you agree with this, how does it change your take on this aspect of neurology?

  • 2

    votes

    Recently retired from a rewarding and successful career, I am often asked to consult to companies or groups in my area of expertise, but find I have no interest at all in doing so (except briefly to former colleagues at no charge when they ask). After dreading the idea of retirement for years, I find myself completely content just focusing on the arts, reading, political engagement, spending lots of time with my husband traveling or just hanging out. I think my high achieving cohort group is disappointed in me and I’m feeling guilty. Isn’t contentment a good thing?