Julie Lythcott-Haims

in Conversation with Paula Farmer

Recorded June 14th, 2020

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Julie Lythcott-Haims in conversation with Paula Farmer
Sunday, June 14, 2020

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Julie Lythcott-Haims believes in humans and is deeply interested in what gets in our way. She is the New York Timesbestselling author of the anti-helicopter parenting manifesto How to Raise an Adult. Her TED Talk  on the subject was one of the top talks of 2016, and in 2020 she became a regular contributor with CBS This Morning on parenting. Her second book is the critically-acclaimed and award-winning prose poetry memoir Real American, which illustrates her experience as a Black and biracial person in white spaces. A third book, Your Turn: How to Be an Adult, will be out in April 2021. She also wrote the foreword for Writing Memoir, a book of writing prompts developed by Julie and The Writers Grotto for those hungry to share their lived experience.

Julie is a former corporate lawyer and Stanford dean, and she holds a BA from Stanford, a JD from Harvard, and an MFA in Writing from California College of the Arts. She serves on the boards of Foundation for a College Education, Global Citizen Year, andCommon Sense Media, and on the advisory board of LeanIn.Org. She volunteers with the hospital program No One Dies Alone.

She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her partner of over thirty years, their young adults, and her mother.

“After hundreds of talks with parents around the world, here’s what I’ve come to. We parents are the lucky humans given the humbling task of raising a child. We’re supposed to be alongside them, guiding them, giving them more and more room to try, learn, grow, persevere, achieve. But, these days, we can tend to get in the way, by micromanaging our kid’s path or by outright dragging them down it. We think we know what we’re doing—but we end up depriving them of developing self-efficacy. And that leads to anxiety and depression. So. We have to get our act together. We have to get out of our kid’s way so they can develop the skills and smarts they’ll need in order to thrive as adults.”

– Julie Lythcott-Haims

Julie Lythcott-Haims believes in humans and is deeply interested in what gets in our way. She is the New York Timesbestselling author of the anti-helicopter parenting manifesto How to Raise an Adult. Her TED Talk  on the subject was one of the top talks of 2016, and in 2020 she became a regular contributor with CBS This Morning on parenting. Her second book is the critically-acclaimed and award-winning prose poetry memoir Real American, which illustrates her experience as a Black and biracial person in white spaces. A third book, Your Turn: How to Be an Adult, will be out in April 2021. She also wrote the foreword for Writing Memoir, a book of writing prompts developed by Julie and The Writers Grotto for those hungry to share their lived experience.

Julie is a former corporate lawyer and Stanford dean, and she holds a BA from Stanford, a JD from Harvard, and an MFA in Writing from California College of the Arts. She serves on the boards of Foundation for a College Education, Global Citizen Year, andCommon Sense Media, and on the advisory board of LeanIn.Org. She volunteers with the hospital program No One Dies Alone.

She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her partner of over thirty years, their young adults, and her mother.

Visit the Book Passage website to have any of Julie’s books delivered right to your door.

You’re sure to enjoy these Book Passage favorites:

How to Raise an Adult

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Real American: A Memoir

Real American- A Memoir

Writing Memoir

Writing Memoir

Get ready to join Julie in conversation, Sunday, June 14th.

In the meantime, we invite you to take a moment now to help shape this upcoming conversation:

Check out the list of questions submitted by other registered attendees, and then vote to support any that match your interests.

Feel free to add your own question. Then spread the word to make sure others have the chance to help move your question to the top of the shared list.

  • 5

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    Where did the idea of Writing Memoir as more of a workbook come from?

  • 4

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    There seems to be an epidemic of anxiety and depression in teens and even adolescents today? To what extent do you think parenting contributes to that and what can parents do differently?

  • 3

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    Who are some of your favorite authors, whether fiction or non-fiction, and have they influenced your writing?

  • 3

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    Having written a memoir where you confront difficult subjects like growing up in America and facing racism and micro-aggressions, what can you say about the process of memoir writing and how you were transformed by it?

  • 2

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    What is the most inspiring message or piece of advice you have for any aspiring writer, especially those of us who come from homes where writing wasn’t encouraged or even attending college? And yet, we dare to imagine ourselves publishing our writing someday.

  • 2

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    There seems to be an explosion in the genre of memoirs lately? Why do you think Americans are so fascinated in this moment with memoir reading and memoir writing?

  • 2

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    What do most parents get wrong about trying to help their kids?

  • 2

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    Why do you think is it so hard for today’s parents to be more hands-off with their kids?

  • 1

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    How do I create obstacles or struggles for my child to fail? I live in marin county and it’s a protected and safe environment.

  • 1

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    Hello Julie, quite thrilled to see you here. I taught with your brilliant mother at the Martha’s Vineyard Public Charter School in the 90s. She left for CA when her first grandchild was born, so thrilled. I hope she is well, say hello from Susan and Seth Mosler. We are looking forward to this event today, the last time we spoke to your mother she spoke of you and this book!